There is no doubt that I have been a social distancer in training for the past several years. In my current job, I generally am on an airplane to a client or, thankfully much more often, I am working at home with my dog by my side. His name is Jake, and he earns the Employee of the Month award every month. He is that important to my effectiveness while working from home, as his needs help provide structure to my day.

Let me be clear. Working from home is not as easy as it sounds. It is not for everyone, but it can be. I have learned what it takes to work from home in an efficient, productive manner. So instead of my usual, relatively useless, general wiseguy musings, I thought I would rip off Mark Harmon, AKA Jethro Gibbs, on NCIS, and enumerate my work from home rules, hopefully adding value to you in these turbulent times.

  1. Pretend you are really going to the office.
    • By that I mean do everything you would normally do to get ready for work. For the pre-corona me, that meant getting up at zero dark thirty and dragging my butt to the gym when it opens at 5 AM. This is what I used to do when I worked at an office, so that is what I still do now that I don’t. I am skipping this step in the short term, as the gym is the biggest petri dish I swim in on a recurring basis.
    • Follow the same grooming routines you would normally do to get ready for work. For me that means showering and shaving, at least every other day for the shave.
    • Get dressed as if you were going to work. Clearly, I do not wear business casual attire in my home office, but I do get out of what ever I am sleeping in and put on a set of “work” clothes, usually sweats or shorts. I even put on a pair of “work”shoes, which in my case are my Minnetonka Moccasin slippers, complete with fluffy pile lining.
    • Eat and drink what you normally would before you leave for the office. For me, that means I eat breakfast and make a large pot of coffee, as I am thoroughly addicted to caffeine.
    • Finish your grooming as if you were going out to your car or other transportation. For me, that means flossing and brushing.
    • Tell yourself, and anyone in earshot, that you are leaving to go to work. For me that usually means, walking to my den and avoiding the sigalert created by Jake as I have to go around him to get to desk.
  2. Pretend you are really in the office.
    • For me that means doing the same things I would do in the office when my day begins.
    • Instead of face to face meetings, I use phone calls, video if I must, and zoom meetings to collaborate with peers or clients. These tools make communication very effective, even if body language is not part of the communication.
    • I stay at my desk for consistent periods of time. This is where Jake really shines. Dogs are essentially four pawed metronomes. They have an uncanny sense of relative time. Jake knows when his needs need to be met, and he is good at reminding me. In Jake’s world, a tennis ball retrieval session begins at 10 AM (or as near to that as possible). I plan for that session as I would plan for a staff meeting. Jake’s midday walk generally starts right around noon. He will contentedly sleep at the base of my chair from after our tennis ball retrieval session until noon. Then he lifts up his head and gives me the “I need to have my walk” look. To an outsider, his face would look the same, but to me it speaks volumes. He is clearly communicating what he wants. Sort of like when Ben Stiller, AKA Derek Zoolander, finally got Blue Steel just right. You just know what it means.
    • In the afternoon, Jake comes to the rescue again, reminding me at around 3 PM that it is time for his mid-afternoon ball retrieval session.
    • At around 6 PM, Jake is back, reminding me that it is time for his dinner, and my time to begin shutting down and beginning my “commute” home, or at least my walk into the kitchen to get Jake fed.
  3. Treat yourself to some treats.
    • For me that means eating a mid-morning snack, usually right after Jake’s tennis ball retrieval session. I admit to eating at my desk, not really a carryover from the office, but because I confess that I allow myself a few minutes to play a game or two of Free Cell, another one of my serious addictions.
    • I eat lunch at my desk right after Jake’s mid-day walk is over. Sometimes I work while eating, sometimes I play more Free Cell. I rarely go out to eat with my friends, which is perfect for the corona socially distancing requirement now. The reason for this is that it helps me maintain the fiction that I am really at the office instead of hanging out at home. Initially, this did not go over well with my friends, but they get it now. Several times per week, Pam will eat lunch at home, and I will sit with her in the kitchen for a bit while she eats.
    • My focus is on my work, but that doesn’t mean I am devoid of other inputs. I love listening to music when I work. I find it enables me to increase my productivity. As a result, Spotify is on all day, every day. During the corona period, I have used the TV as background noise, letting it play news programs while I work, giving Spotify a bit of a break. Thankfully, the TV is behind me, so I do not look at it. I just listen.
    • I do not graze all day, but I do allow myself a mid-afternoon snack, proving yet again how important Jake is to my day, as I time it after he is done fetching balls.
  4. Set appropriate boundaries.
    • For me that means staying in my den office or the kitchen. The living room and bedroom are off-limits.
    • I do not allow myself to nap, as I would have been too embarrassed if I was caught napping at my desk at work.
    • I limit the errands I run during the day to the ones I would have left the office to complete, nothing more. It is too easy to become everyone’s schlepper while “working” from home.
    • If I am sick, I call in sick. As stupid as this sounds, it helps maintain my home “office” fiction.
    • I try to maintain “normal” work hours, even though I feel the tug to sit at my desk every time I walk thru the den.

Those are my rules. They work for me. I understand that most of you will need to adapt and define your own rules. I am confident that you will do just fine. I am somewhat leery as to my continued productivity, though.

I will still be consistent, but now that Pam and Kim will be working from home as well, Jake’s job just got a whole lot bigger. His effectiveness may be muted, as he will be assisting them in their daily routine. I hope he can still earn his monthly award.